A Diary of Three Mama’s

Dear Diary,

I cannot handle the emotional roller coaster. My boy is home from college on a break, looking so grown. Sounding so grown. I feel so proud until I think about how I will never ever have him climb in my lap again. Or hear his little boy voice. Then I want to die. To curl up and stop all activity and let the horrible grief wash me away. Then he says something so clever and funny and I am laughing and enjoying this stage ao much, and I think the woman who just wanted to die is possibly crazy. This is wonderful! He is so happy at college and he’s working so hard and he’s made all these new friends and he has even decided on a major. The world is full steam ahead for him! Then the other mom who lives here, Mom of Only Daughter, reminds me how much her girl misses him and it gets me distraught all over again! We won’t get to watch them spend lazy evenings joking around, or hear him gently give her encouragement. Now we’re both a puddle. SHE is getting on my nerves too! I was really feeling better until she brought up her girl. Maybe I need a vacation. At least the other mom, Mom of Angsty Teenage Boy cheers me up, because I know my new stage is easier than her current one.

Signed,

Done Raising Her Child Mom

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Dear Diary,

Must get more coffee. This kid is wearing me OUT. Constant arguing, non stop pushing the limits. I miss where we were two years ago. I used to have so much fun with him, and these days it’s all: managing requests and confronting disrespect. I’m exhausted. I’m jealous of the other two moms who live here. Done Raising Her Child Mom has arrived! She texts back and forth with her boy in college and has no more responsibility for day to day. I see her standing at the kitchen counter giggling over some joke he tweeted, while I’m over here explaining to mine why he can’t get a tatoo that covers half his rib cage! I’m becoming crankier by the day. Where is that blasted cup of coffee I poured?! Mom of Only Daughter better enjoy her time now! 12 years old is a wonderful stage and she gets to have so much fun being the Back Stage Mom, and the Shopping Mom, and the Snuggling Mom. Waaaah! I miss snuggling! I feel so guilty for not enjoying these days more, as Done Raising keeps reminding me it will be over soon, but my worry and exhaustion keeps overpowering the good moments. Also I feel ignored when we are all three out because everyone wants to talk to the other two moms and forgets about my boy since he often tries to be invisible, especially at church. I worry I have messed up terribly but then I keep reminding myself that Done Raising had some years where she was completely frustrated with her boy and he turned out pretty well. Forget the coffee. Maybe I need wine.

Signed,

Mom of Angsty Teenage Boy

Dear Diary,

Being a mom is just the best!! My sweet girl is a delight and joy. The other two moms around here are so dramatic. They act like having your kids growing up is horrible. Mom of Angsty keeps telling me things will change, like some kind of ominous warning. I think she needs some sleep and maybe I’ll get her a bottle of wine. This whole thing is not so tragic. Nothing to it. Kind of like flying a kite. Just let them move away from you a bit at a time until they are flying high! Now, when am I going to squeeze in doing our toes? And when will we watch Gilmore Girls on Netflix? I do feel a little bad for the other moms that they miss out on doing girly things, and that they have smellier laundry, but they keep assuring me they don’t mind at all. The only hard part lately is seeing my girl miss the college boy. I keep trying to get Done Raising to put a little more pressure on him to spend some time with my girl, but she refuses. I think maybe she’s jealous.

Signed,

Mom of Only Daughter

Dear All the Mothers,

The children are fine. You are all a little bit on edge these days and I think if you could coordinate and back each other up a bit this living arrangement would be easier on you.  You each do a wonderful job with your child and I can see how hard you are working, so thank you for that. But I do have just a few requests of my own as all this juggling is getting difficult. For one I never know which of you is in charge and it seems to change rapidly. Also, if you could stop interrupting each other while I’m trying to listen that would be helpful. I will try to assist in your requests, but I think we can all agree: some of them are a bit much. I mean, Mom of Only Daughter, I think your girl will be okay if you never take a Special Mother Daughter trip before she gets out of high school. There is only one of me, so I have to spread out among all three of you. And Mom of Angsty, have a little grace for yourself and your boy. He’s a great kid in a tough stage. You’ll both make it. Done Raising, just ride the roller coaster baby! We’ve been together the longest and I know it will level out. Give it time. Remember when he got his first car and then suddenly he was never home for dinner anymore? You thought you’d never adjust, but now it’s no big deal. Bottom line girls, the children are all growing up and you have got to support each other. And on that note, has anyone seen Dad lately?

Signed,

Your Heart

One thought on “A Diary of Three Mama’s

  1. Okay, so I cried through the whole mom talk because I know it’s so true. All of it. But the best news is that the joy of seeing your child at 51, 44,41 and 39 is even better. Their humor is even better, even if you have sometimes become the object of some of their humor. The kids will never be perfect, but with each passing year I see them growing closer to God which brings me great joy. The laughter and fun seems to be left in my memory. The sneaking out, being taken out of school by the police because of an egged house, and a visit with a judge seem all so unimportant now. Besides my husband, there are no other people in the world that I would enjoy being around more than my children, their spouses. But wait, maybe I even enjoy my grandchildren a little more. I don’t know.

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