For reasons I will never fathom, God created me. 43 years ago, he formed my tiny heart and wrapped muscle and skeleton around it, gave me a mind and wove my will and dreams and talents together. He determined my height and skin tone and dark brown eyes. Both on purpose and with purpose. He chose to give me this precious gift of life for a purpose- loving and being loved by Him.
Every mundane moment, every heart stopping event- all opportunities to experience His love and reflect it to those around me. I have not always lived in His love. As we all do, I took this purposed life hostage to do my will. To fulfill my wants and seek my pleasure. And even in that, He never ran out on His purpose to love me. Over and over His love chases me down. In His son, Jesus, I saw total surrender to the Father’s will, for me. He died in my place in the ultimate expression of love, and ransomed back my self-hostaged soul.
As years go by and numbers add up, I see how quickly this life is passing. I am the same small heart wrapped in muscle and skeleton with the dark brown eyes, yet I am no longer the same. Being loved and loving Him continues changing my mind and will and dreams. My oldest son shared an analogy with me some time back. He said we are like the moon. We have light but it is only the light of the sun we take in and reflect out. We change constantly but the sun stays the same. Being in the light of the Son and revolving around Him has brought more joy than trying to get the world to revolve around me.
I do not dread the changing numbers, because they represent a changing life with more opportunities to share His love with others still shackled by self will. Not everyone gets the gift of 43 years. I pray I use each day of next year in wisdom and on purpose. Loving others to show them Him. And in gratitude for the joy of being in a forever relationship with my Good Father.