Yesterday was a birthday of sorts- my spiritual birth day.
Jan 20, 1985 I was 12 years old and in my sparkly white sweater, I nervously and excitedly walked forward at church to state my faith in Christ and be baptized. It was the beginning of a very long journey that I imagine myself to be in the middle of, 37 years later. By God’s grace, I received some amazing advantages in my spiritual journey including strong Christian parents and a church that encouraged us to be connected to one another and read our bibles. As I have continued in life there have been countless people, circumstances and experiences creating learning and hopefully deeper wisdom, in how to follow Jesus.
As I reflected yesterday on all those lessons, I felt an urge to write them down. Maybe one day my children will read this and find it helpful and meaningful. Maybe I will need to look back and be reminded of these lessons again myself. And perhaps, these words will be encouraging or helpful for you too. So, in no particular order (except the first and last) here are 37 lessons I have learned about following Jesus.
God’s love, as seen in Christ, is the most important part- understanding it, receiving it and sharing it.
Sin is sneaky. A lot of it cannot be seen by others because it exists in my thoughts and attitudes. If not uprooted, it will eventually spill into my actions. But it starts internally.
Sin is most easily exposed by two things: scripture and deep relationships.
Scripture (the bible) is understood slowly over time as it is taken in regularly, in small doses.
The scriptures and truths contained in them do not change. But they convict and encourage differently in seasons as the Holy Spirit applies them in specific ways. This is one reason to keep reading the bible over and over.
I can have meaningful worship even when the music is not my preferred style/genre. Worship is not actually about my preferences- it is about seeing and honoring God for who He is.
We cannot successfully walk out our faith without godly community. Period.
Reading the entire bible in year gives a different perspective that is really good. Do it once in your life. But, it is not necessary to set that goal every year- just keep reading.
When you wake in the middle of the night- pray. If someone comes to mind “out of nowhere” assume this is the Holy Spirit prompting you to pray and act accordingly.
The Serenity Prayer and The Lord’s Prayer are excellent prayers when I do not know what to pray.
Connection TO God is much much more important than working FOR God.
My primary identity is child of God. All other roles mentioned in scripture (like soldier or worker) are less. I am a daughter and He is my Dad.
I will not be able to explain every kind of suffering others go through. Or suffering I go through. This does not change what is true about God’s love or character or goodness- it is a reflection of my limits as a human and child (compared to God) and does not have to make my doubt my faith. My own children could not have explained why I made them get shots or told them “no” to countless things when they were children- yet they still trusted my love and care, even while hurting or angry.
When people around us are suffering they need two things the most: kind, calm presence and practical service. They really don’t need most of our words in those moments.
All Christians have the same purpose- to love God and share his love, as seen in the gospel. We have different opportunities for and expressions of this common purpose. Some Christians refer to this as a “calling” but this often gets confused with purpose. Our purpose is the same. The way we live out that purpose is unique.
Living a life of quiet integrity, where our behavior lines up with what we say we believe, is more powerful than it seems.
Prayer is a response to God. It is also listening to God. Leave some space for for listening in your prayer life.
Most of spiritual growth is only evident when I look back- not as it is happening.
Pastors (ministers, elders, clergy) are people. They are not meant to be worshipped or idolized. This is damaging to them and us.
A pastor who prioritizes his family above the church work and is willing to listen to honest feedback from safe people in his own life is wise. Respect boundaries for your pastors and treat them with respect in the way you give feedback, knowing we are all humans with weakness who need grace and kindness.
Churches are full of broken people- I am one of them, This does not necessarily mean they are full of hypocrites. We all have blind spots where we cannot see ourselves accurately. This is one of the reasons we need to be in community in our churches- so others can lovingly point them out.
Comparing either your blessings or your burdens to others will breed discontent, envy, self loathing and many other negative beliefs and thought patterns. Get off social media if it feeds this in you. Either way, stop comparing and run YOUR race.
Church life is so much better when all the busy tasks are flowing out of being loved and connected to others. If you have to pick- lean toward things that build connection over accomplishment.
It is not my job to be strong and self sufficient. It is my job to be unashamedly dependent on God and interdependent on people. When these are reversed it leads to codependency, fear and other dysfunctions.
There are trends in Christian culture just like everywhere else. They are not necessarily good or bad- they could be either. Don’t worry about keeping up with trends. If you find something you love that is helpful- an app, a bible study, a phrase, a speaker- follow along, but it will be “out” eventually. You are not behind if you never jump on a trend.
Our faith grows in hard moments- often where we are most aware how little faith we have.
God’s grace never runs out. Even if you battle one sin your whole life. He truly has enough grace for ALL our sin.
God is not an American. He loves all the people of the earth. We are called to love much bigger than our tribe.
There are many passages in the bible that feel confusing. Do not be afraid to acknowledge this. Some of this is due to cultural or historical context we do not understand and some is because the bible is one big story made up of different types of literature (like poetry, narrative and law) There are many great resources to access and dig deeper into confusing passages that will strengthen your faith and understanding.
Forgiveness is a command for OUR good. It is not for the person who harmed us. It sets us free from the weight of carrying the pain of the harm. We can (and should) forgive people who are already gone from our life. It is not about “letting them off the hook”- they are not on a hook from our unforgiveness- we are.
Forgiveness does not equal reconciliation.
Boundaries do not limit love- they protect love. They limit harm. This is wise and God wants us to limit harmful behavior.
There are no “shoulds” unless Jesus says it. Everything else is a “could”.
Church traditions like Lent, Advent, the Lord’s Supper and reciting creeds can have deep meaning and beauty. But these are not a way to fit in or earn God’s approval- that will drain them of meaning quickly and often lead to “checking the box” legalism. They are meaningful as they connect us to God’s love and the larger global Christian community. It is okay to not participate in some of these if they begin to feel like obligations instead of overflow.
To be quiet and purposely bring awareness of my connection to God’s love and presence is hard in our noisy world. Building rhythm's that help me have regular quiet spaces helps. This may be small spaces when children are young- but even 5 minutes of quietly connecting to God daily is so helpful.
The gospel is this: the good news that Jesus came to earth and lived a perfect life in my place, died the death that I deserve for my sin and rose back to life after defeating death to give me eternal life as well. This is the good news that saves me. It is also the good news that keeps changing me to become more like Christ. It is the foundation for our faith as Christians.
Jesus is better. He is better than marriage. He is better than motherhood. He is better than sex or money or power or approval or vacations or promotions. Jesus is enough. He is enough for every struggle and hardship. He is enough for every insecurity and anxiety. He is enough for every dream and desire and need. Jesus is better and He is enough for me. And you too.